Because you didn't want to lose him, you lost yourself in the process.
But in the process of losing yourself, something darker happened. You started to mirror the behavior you saw in him. The pain and frustration built up inside you until it overflowed. You found yourself screaming, lashing out, unable to control the anger that had been simmering for so long. You became abusive, the very thing you feared and despised. The cycle of hurt and abuse continued, but this time, you were the one inflicting pain.
You didn't recognize yourself anymore. The girl who once wanted to be loved and appreciated had turned into someone who pushed people away with her rage. You screamed because it felt like the only way to be heard, to release the pent-up emotions that were tearing you apart from the inside. You became abusive because you had been abused for so long that it became your twisted sense of normalcy.
If you're reading this, realize that no person is worth sacrificing yourself for, no person is worth your happiness, and no person is worth your suffering. Letting them go might be the only path to finding yourself again. As hard as it may be to accept, he stands in the way of you rediscovering your true self.
To heal, you must confront the part of you that became what you feared. You must forgive yourself for the times you screamed and lashed out, and recognize that this was a defense mechanism born out of deep hurt and betrayal. Only by facing this dark side of yourself can you truly start to rebuild and find the person you once were.
Remember, it's never too late to change. It's never too late to choose a different path, one where you prioritize your own well-being and happiness. No one is worth losing yourself over. Reclaim your life, your peace, and your happiness. You deserve it.
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